Parents sometimes struggle with the responsibility of keeping teens safe. – Sandra
“My mom is always checking on who I am talking to on the phone and what I am doing on the computer. Why doesn’t she trust me?”
It sounds like you feel hurt by the fact that your mom checks up on you. We all have a way we view ourselves, and the fact that your mother is questioning your integrity may go against your ideal self-image, and the way you would like to be perceived.
Raising a child today is tricky business. The internet allows kids to connect with people they might otherwise not have contact with. Cell phones allow kids to talk to people at all hours of the day and night without their parents having any idea of what they are talking about. This is terrifying for parents, who want to protect their children from harm.
Trust is something that is earned. By answering your mother’s questions, you help her to recognize that you are in fact making mature and responsible choices. I encourage you to have a conversation with your mom about her concerns, and your desire to win her trust. Ask her directly what it would take for her to give your more freedom.
If you show her that you have nothing to hide, then hopefully with time, your mother will begin to relax. If you are doing things that you probably shouldn’t, as frustrating as it may be, your mom may be doing you a huge favor in keeping an eye on you. Adolescence is a time of exploration, and unfortunately, its easy to make some choices that are not very wise.
If, in fact, you are doing everything she is asking of you, and your mother still seems like she is anxious, then you may be dealing with a particular parenting style. In this situation, the best advice I can give you is to do your best to be patient with her, and try not to take her questions personally.
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