Teens: Does Being Popular = Being Mean?

A Note From The L.A. Teen Therapist

What is your definition of being popular? Read on to learn more about how popularity means different things to different people. – Sandra

Being popular may mean that a lot of people know who you are, and try to get your attention. It could also mean that you are trustworthy, fair, and someone that others turn to for your wisdom, support and great sense of humor.

I imagine that you have an idea of how your life would be different, and somehow better, if you became more popular. It might be helpful to write down the things you think you would gain by becoming a popular girl at your school. Then, write down a list of things that you might also need to give up in order to gain that popular status.

Would you need to gossip, or be rude to others? Would you be constantly worrying whether someone else is more popular than you? Does being popular mean that you always have to be concerned with how you look, or what other people are saying about you? How would you know who your true friends are?

Being mean may be an indication that someone is not very happy. Teens who choose to be hurtful, and rejecting of others, may be struggling with some insecurities that they try to hide by appearing tough, or overly confident.

Being popular can actually be an opportunity to make a positive difference in your world. Like the celebrities who use their influence to help others, you could be a positive role model that your classmates look up to.

And, if you choose to pursue popularity, please don’t forget the people who already love you for who you are.


“The best example of Sandra’s work is in my daughter’s renewed enthusiasm and attitude towards life. My daughter now sees every problem as one that can be solved, every uncomfortable experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Sandra’s work with my daughter has helped her become a more secure, confident and happy individual.”

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