L.A. Teen Therapist’s Book Reviewed

 A Note From The L.A. Teen Therapist and Life Coach

I gently guide teens in a direction that gets them thinking about who they truly are, what they want, and how to express themselves with kindness and grace. – Sandra

In her book, What Would Your Teen Therapist Say?: A Workbook For Discovering Your True Self-Expression (Volume 1), Los Angeles-based teen therapist Sandra Dupont presents weekly tasks and then provides space for her reader to work through the process in writing.

Thought-provoking themes in the workbook include listening closely to your conversations to make sure you’re saying what you really mean; paying attention to how you spend your time to determine the worthiness of those activities; examining your belief system to see if it still fits; or asking if your friends support you and your dreams.

She also asks the reader to identify inspirational or teachable moments in their own lives, challenges them to find success in their failures, and encourages them to share the gift of their own wisdom with others.

Each weekly lesson prompts the reader to answer questions or imagine various scenarios, some of which are designed to focus on the positive or help the reader develop courage and confidence. The exercises are not always introspective. The teen therapist also asks her readers to find ways to give from the heart, and think about how they can make a difference in the world.

For teens in need of guidance during one of the most difficult transitions in life, this book will help them to become independent, self-aware and self-fulfilled young adults.” by Cameron James–Freelance Writer

… EMPOWERING TEENS TO BE THEIR BEST SELVES.

“The best example of Sandra’s work is in my daughter’s renewed enthusiasm and attitude towards life. My daughter now sees every problem as one that can be solved, every uncomfortable experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Sandra’s work with my daughter has helped her become a more secure, confident and happy individual.”

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

The “Loneliness Cure” for Teens

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A Note From the L.A. Teen Therapist & Life Coach

“Times have changed from when kids would walk out their front door and go visit with the neighborhood kids.” – Sandra

It’s not enough to have a ton of “friends” on Facebook, followers on Instagram, or be known by numerous people (for one can feel isolated even in a crowd, or alone within their own family). At the same time, with only a few trusted, heartfelt connections, one can enjoy time in solitude, and not feel lonely. It’s really all about the quality of the connection.

Which is why the Teen Years are so important for cultivating the skills of authentic connection. It’s not about being the most popular, talented, smartest or prettiest. It’s about learning how to find your tribe, and build connections that suit you. This begins by slowing down long enough to know who you are (deep down inside), and cultivating the courage to share that with others.

So much of today’s social media is hype: Using filters to enhance your image, picking the best “selfie” out of the bunch to share, editing your words until they sound perfect, or only talking about the good things happening in your life. This can leave many young people feeling inadequate compared to these doctored personas, leading to insecurity, self-loathing and isolation.

We need to help today’s young people to understand that there was a world that existed before the hype, where people formed bonds based on shared interests and an investment in creating a safe space to share yourself, imperfections and all. Feeling lonely in inevitable at various times in our lives. But there is a cure … in learning how to build heartfelt connections.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Why Are Today’s Young-Adults Struggling?

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A Note From the L.A. Teen Therapist & Life Coach

Over the span of 15 years, I have noticed a growing trend that I find concerning.

I’ve witnessed many bright college students, who successfully completed AP courses and got accepted to top name schools, failing out of their first year. These young people are becoming burnt-out, over-stimulated by the bombardment of information and constant connection available through technology. Add to this the concerted effort they just put in to create the perfect college application, SAT scores, essays and grades, and you have a recipe for them shutting down, or tipping over, as they enter –or leave college.

I’ve witnessed many bright college students, who successfully completed AP courses and got accepted to top name schools, struggling miserably during their first year. Unfortunately, due to over-scheduling, they were never able to truly examine what wasn’t working in their lives, and cultivate the social and emotional coping-skills necessary to thrive. Pushing to always “do” more, they lost their ability to self-reflect along the way.

So they turned to distractions from emotional discomfort, like drugs, video-games, binge-watching Netflix, and casual sex, in order to distract themselves from their stress. These ineffective coping skills are then carried into their college classwork, relationships, and jobs. Not having learned to tolerate the boredom of a repetitious task, they also haven’t cultivated the patience to wait for a desired outcome. They also don’t yet know how to communicate their wants and needs in a graceful manner, so they blow-up relationships with bosses, coworkers and friends, or worse, they suffer in silence.

Although not true for every young-adult, there are many who are suffering. If you are a parent reading this, you know what I’m referring to. Life is not the same as when you were growing up. Children are expected to prepare for college starting as early as middle-school. After-school sports no longer teach team-building skills for the average athlete, but are instead gateways for athletic scholarships. Summers are used to pad college applications with internships, jobs and advanced classes. Kids are being pushed to excel just to earn a chance at a college admission.

In my experience, it’s clear that today’s youth are missing out on opportunities that help cultivate their character strengths, social, and emotional intelligence. This is what I am advocating. This is what I’m offering.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Teens & The Spirit Of The Season

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A Note From the L.A. Teen Therapist & Life Coach

The holidays are an opportunity to invite the teenagers in your life to reflect on who they are, and what they value. – Sandra

With the gathering of friends and family to celebrate the closing of one year, and the start of a new one, the question that readily comes to mind to ask is “What are you grateful for?”

Inviting this type of discussion is about more than just instilling your values in the teen. It is about opening up your teen’s mind to the possibility that discussions like these enhance their experience of life; with gratitude being a habit that allows the sweetness of life to be savored, over and over again.

Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations allow teens to participate in family traditions, as well as observe the interactions of multi-generations. This is a wonderful time for teens to interview the oldest members of their family and learn about their early history, perhaps even hearing stories that would be lost forever if not passed down to this generation.

Sometimes, teens may feel awkward around relatives they see infrequently. It can be helpful to initiate fun activities like badminton, soccer, Apples to Apples, the Ungame, Life Stories, or Jenga. Another option is to set up a video camera and let teens direct an interview of the family members. This could be a fun new tradition–with the goal being the preservation of precious memories of their loved ones through the years.

With the changing of the calendar year comes the opportunity for teens to visualize the coming year in the way they wish to see it unfold. Would they like to be more focused at school, eat healthier, make new friends, try out for a new sport, learn to drive, earn more privileges, or even get a job?  Invite your teen to dream about “what could be”… and then help them create a roadmap to follow.

In closing, I invite you to consider how you might participate in the holidays this year in a way that role-models to your teen how to fully engage in the spirit of the season.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

L.A. Teen Therapist Encourages Mutual Respect

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A Note From the L.A. Teen Therapist & Life Coach

I feel it is essential to model to our future generations how to live together in peace. Towards this end, I devote my days to teaching parents and teens how to respond to each other in conscious and respectful ways. – Sandra

The reason I offer a FREE Initial Parent Consultation is to confirm that I am a good match for your family. If your family is in crisis, I often suggest we meet once a week with the teen, and once a week with the parents–for about 6 weeks. In this manner, I am can do a thorough assessment of the situation and give you my most helpful recommendations.

During this time, you will get an immediate and direct experience of the value I provide. I try to make the experience uplifting as well as educational. My intention is to guide you in ways you can support your teen, with the focus on solutions that will unite the family, rather than assigning blame. There is an inner experience that is driving your teen’s behavior, and my goal is to help uncover and address it, to thus allow the healing of their pain.

In closing, my world travels, together with my work as a teen therapist, have exposed me to people of many backgrounds. What I have learned from my experiences both abroad and locally, is that each individual carries the desire to feel connected and loved … and we are not different in matters of the heart. Thus, the pervading theme of my work has been encouraging the practice of kindness within your family and community.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Gandhi. “I honor the place within you where the entire Universe resides; where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.” Namaste.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Choosing A Teen Therapist

A Note From The L.A. Teen Therapist

In choosing a therapist for your teenager, you want someone with experience in working with complex teenage issues and family dynamics – Sandra

It is important to choose a therapist who not only has an understanding of adolescent phase of life challenges, but can work masterfully with families in conflict, and support the parents in setting limits. Try to find a therapist with whom you, the parent, feel comfortable and well understood, as you will be trusting them to guide you in the care of your child.

Learn how the therapist will handle keeping you updated about your teen’s process and progress. As your child’s advocate, their job is to join with your teen, that they might learn about, and advise you, on your child’s needs. Ideally, they act as a bridge between the two of you.

Although therapists “in training” are required to spend 500 hours working with children and families, not all therapists have experience working directly with the teen population. Because teens have a developmental journey all their own, that differs significantly from a small child or young adult, it is important that the therapist you choose has a thorough understanding of this phase of life, and it’s associated risks and challenges.

It is important to examine your readiness to embrace the changes that may be necessary for you, your teen, and your family to make, for Teen Therapy is a collaborative relationship. Since you, the parent, will need to reinforce the therapist’s work in your home, additional parent coaching work may be indicated to support you in setting and maintaining firm boundaries, as well as helping to heal the relationship between you and your teen.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Finding Solutions To “Best Friend” Troubles

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Q: I’ve been having been fighting a lot with my best friend recently, and am not sure if this relationship can be salvaged. Any suggestions?

A: I imagine that you have invested a lot into your relationship with your best friend, and would be sorry to lose it. At the same time, people change during high school, therefore it’s important to reevaluate your relationship, and your participation in your relationship, from time to time. The following questions can help you reflect upon whether your relationship can be healed, and how to go about doing so:

1. Do you truly like this girl?
2. Do you believe she truly cares about you?
3. List 3 major things that you believe would improve your relationship.
4. Would you be willing to calmly and non-judgment ally communicate this information to her?
5. How do you imagine she would respond to a calm and non-judgmental discussion about your friendship?
6. Is there anything you would be willing to offer to do differently on your end to help your relationship further grow and evolve?
7. Are you truly able to see and accept her for who she is?
8. Are the things you want to change in her perhaps a part of what makes her who she is?
9. Are you willing to negotiate and find a middle ground in your differing opinions about your relationship, or would you rather be right about her not living up to your expectations?
10. Are you taking her needs into consideration as well as your own, when you think about your frustrations with her?
11. Why do you imagine she acts the way that she does? What purpose does it serve for her?
12. Is fighting with her the most effective way to encourage her to be the friend that you want her to be?
13. Are you perhaps asking more of her than she is able to give?
14. Are you perhaps looking to her to fulfill needs that might be better fulfilled by your family, a boyfriend or your therapist?
15. What would need to change for you to want to continue this relationship?

Sometimes, talking to a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, aunt or therapist, can help you gain a different perspective and find your way through troubling experiences – like these.

… EMPOWERING TEENS TO BE THEIR BEST SELVES.

“The best example of Sandra’s work is in my daughter’s renewed enthusiasm and attitude towards life. My daughter now sees every problem as one that can be solved, every uncomfortable experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Sandra’s work with my daughter has helped her become a more secure, confident and happy individual.”

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Parenting Teens With ADD

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A Note From the L.A. Teen Therapist & Life Coach

It can be challenging to keep your teen on course with all they need to learn in order to become an independent young adult. – Sandra

Unfortunately, angry and irritated responses on your part do nothing to motivate your teen, and only serve to damage your connection with each other. You are both better served by trying to understand why your teen is giving up so easily, such that you might help remedy the problem.
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It is important for your teen to discover how to harness their strengths, to help him/her move towards their dreams. Teens often do not understand the reasoning behind the general education classes, assignments and tests they are required to complete. For teens with learning challenges, it can be like trudging through molasses to turn in assignments. Your teen desperately needs you to understand why he/she is struggling, accept that they are doing the best they are able to do in this moment, and guide them in how they can do better.
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A goal in my working with teens with ADD is to assist your teen in moving beyond their frustrated or defiant stance about school. A tough love approach usually does not work because frustration, not love, is speaking. Teens do best when they feel supported and connected. also, please know that ADD is not a quick fix. Patterns of reaction may be in place between the two of you, as well as with your teen and their schoolwork, that will need to be turned around.
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Parents need to be able to enter into open discussions with their teen where they can discover what their child is feeling, as well as help their child explore their feelings of frustration and upset. Perhaps it’s time for you and your teen to have a chat with the academic counselor at their school about their homework challenges, that the counselor might help you explore options for making up any missed work. Your teen may need to go early to school, stay late, or miss lunch break to complete those assignments.
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It is also not your fault that your teen is struggling. You do not have to feel you must act angry in order to express the seriousness of your concern. Anger can feel like a retaliation for not pleasing you, and confuses the issue altogether. His/her not doing their homework is not a personal defiance of you. It is a cry for help.
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Your teen’s hope and enthusiasm, as well as his/her sense of capability need to be intact as they leave school to finally enter the world. Battles over homework will not accomplish that. There is a better way…..

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Is Your Teen A Perfectionist?

 A Note From The L.A. Teen Therapist

Highly intelligent and creative teens can find themselves struggling to fit in with their peers. – Sandra

The National Association of Gifted Children came out with a list linking characteristic strengths of gifted children with possible problems that might develop.

Because of the difference between their conceptual abilities and their actual development, highly intelligent teens are able to envision outcomes that they are, as yet, unable to perform. Therefore, they frequently end up feeling frustrated and discouraged when learning new things.

By projecting “perfectionism” onto everything they do, these unrealistic self-expectations can result in feelings of inadequacy. Able to anticipate the challenges in new experiences, they can become hesitant to try new things for fear of failing.

Gifted teens can also be hypersensitive to noise, light and the emotions of others, sometimes causing overreaction and difficulty in social settings. These teens often find it easier to be in the company of people older than them.

HELPFUL HINTS:

  • Common interest groups can be helpful for meeting other teens with similar experiences.
  • Parents can help their children to understand and digest their life experiences.
  • Professionals can help normalize your teen and family’s experience.

RESOURCES:

**Note: If your teen is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it. I invite you take that critical next step, and allow me to demonstrate the support I can offer to you and your family.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Reviews for Sandra Dupont MFT–the L.A. Teen Therapist

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Reviews for L.A. Teen Therapist

“My teen son was always happy to go see Sandra, and relieved and stress-free when he came back from a session. The best example of her work is in my son’s improved behavior and attitude towards life.” – Parent

“Sandra helped me put a lot of the events in my life into perspective. She listened to me respectfully and never made judgments. I had a great experience with Sandra as my therapist.” – Teen Client

“My teen daughter has calmed down, and no longer carries the same anxiety that she once did. She now likes and accepts herself for who she is.” – Parent

“Sandra provided a safe and supportive environment for me to discuss anything. Her feedback resulted in bettering my self-image, my self-esteem and confidence.” – Teen Client

“Sandra’s work with my teen son has made him a more secure, confident and happy individual. She provided a safe and comfortable place for him to express his feelings and explore his emotions.” – Parent

“After thinking together with Sandra, I discovered solutions to my problems. I always felt comfortable sharing my feelings and thoughts, knowing that she would listen and respond with compassion and support.” – Teen Client

“My teen daughter now sees uncomfortable experiences as an opportunity to grow and learn more about herself. Sandra was a very positive influence in her life.” – Parent

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.